B2L2 has an open submission policy for its slogan (leave a comment below or send an email to dsbnola[at]gmail.com). However, the selection process is opaque and poorly understood. You probably don’t want to give us a slogan and that’s fine. Keep your damn slogan. But let it be known that on a sometimes daily basis I update the slogan at B2L2. Often this slogan has been constructed by someone else. Below is an archive of our slogans (in reverse chronological order).

Derek Bridges

Sloganza 9: The Government Stole My Heart from B2 L2 on Vimeo.

  • I’M FINE I TOOK METHOCARBAMOL
  • OUR ADS COME PRE-BLOCKED
  • OUR EXECUTIVE ORDERS AFFECT ONLY THE FOURTH DIMENSION
  • PASSWORD HINT: SCENT FROM SHOEBOX FOUND IN REMOTE WYOMING RAVINE
  • FERAL BECAUSE IT FEELS SO DAMN GOOD
  • TRUMP NOMINATES MONSTER TRUCK TO SUPREME COURT
  • CATS, DOGS STUNNED BY TRUMP CABINET PICKS
  • IT’S MOURNING AGAIN IN AMERICA
  • SAMPLING VARIABILITY SINCE 2009
  • WE FOUND YOUR KEYS
  • WHERE REGRETS SWIM WITH THE FISHES
  • FLEA MARKET TO THE STARS
  • NOW UNGLUED!
  • WE TOLD YOUR PARENTS
  • CLICK TO DAYLIGHT
  • NONE DARE CALL IT PROUST
  • DON’T MAKE US CLOSE THE BRIDGE
  • WE WEREN’T JOKING ABOUT THE ELEPHANT
  • A TINGE OF TOO MUCH
  • WE TOOK IT SO IT MUST BE OURS
  • REMAIN TEMPORARILY ALARMED
  • MOODY AND TEMPERAMENTAL
  • THE RICH ARE ENTITLED TO THEIR BLUES
  • I GREW UP IN A DYSFUNCTIONAL GOVERNMENT
  • PUT THE CANS ON YOUR SKYLAB
  • YOU SHOULD PROBABLY GET THAT LOOKED AT
  • COLORADO AND WASHINGTON, EH?
  • FOR A POLYGAMATRIARCHAL TOMORROW … TODAY
  • DAYGLO MELODIES SHAGGING FOR FUN AND PROFIT
  • STICKY, SWEET AND SLIPPERY
  • YOU’RE STANDING ON MY PATRIOTWEAR BELLBOTTOMS
  • NEW DIMENSIONS IN IDIOT HUSBANDRY
  • THE ALGORITHM TORE ITS ACL
  • THE ALGORITHM CAN BE OVERRIDDEN
  • HEAVY ON THE EVIL
  • NIGHTLY LIKE A BABY IGUANA
  • COME FOR THE HYPE, STAY FOR THE SHARK JUMP
  • MOVING THE PRODUCT LIKE CHAMPIONS
  • MELODIES OF UTAH
  • ZONING PERMIT PENDING
  • THE MOOSE IS NON-RETURNABLE
  • SPF 600
  • BEST RESULTS IF TAKEN SUBLINGUALLY
  • WHAT, NO T-SHIRT?
  • SLAP ON A HAPPY FACE
  • WHO’S MY LITTLE SUPERSTAR?
  • EXCESSIVE HUMMING WILL BE TICKETED
  • SINGING THE REFRACTORY PERIOD BLUES
  • NOW WITH SCRATCH AND SNIFF BYLINES
  • NOT FIT FOR THE PROPHET MOTIVE
  • THE ALPHA DOG OVERDOSED ON BETA BLOCKERS
  • WE SKYPE WITH DOLPHINS
  • PUT PENCIL DOWN AND EAT TEST
  • THE EIGHTH DIMENSION HAS ICE
  • LIKE A BABY ASPIRIN
  • OUR CATS MAKE MUSIC
  • FINALLY, A MUSICAL ABOUT CATS
  • TRENDS IN CONTEMPLATIVE DISSONANCE
  • HEY, THAT’S MY EUROZONE
  • WHAT, NO HUG?
  • THEY GAVE US THE SHAG
  • CAN ALSO BE READ FROM BEHIND
  • YOU’RE STANDING ON MY EYELIDS
  • A WEAPONIZED DISNEY PRINCESS FOR A NEW DAY
  • AN HONORABLE GERMAN SLOGAN
  • FOR GUTTER OR BUTTER*
  • STICKY SIDE OUT
  • STANDING WITH THE NO WAGE AMERICAN WORKER
  • OUR FIREWORKS ARE STRICTLY PSYCHOLOGICAL
  • WE APPLAUD YOUR CHOICE OF REFRESHING BEVERAGE
  • WE APPLAUD YOUR CHOICE OF BREAKFAST CEREAL
  • NOT RUINING IT FOR ANYBODY
  • IF THERE’S CATERING, IT’S NOT WAR
  • YOU WON’T HAVE TO HIT THE POUND KEY AFTER YOU MAKE YOUR SELECTION
  • YOU GOING TO EAT THAT?
  • NUMBER 666 IN YOUR HYMNAL
  • WE STIMULATE THE OTHER ECONOMIES
  • RETINAL SCAN COMPLETE
  • THERE’S SMOKE COMING OUT OF THE MOUSE
  • WE REPRESENT THE LOLLIPOP GUILD
  • LET’S ELECT A RICH WHITE GUY PRESIDENT
  • ROTATIONAL VELOCITY WITH A TWIST
  • GO AHEAD, HAVE ANOTHER
  • IT’S OUR TINFOIL JUBILEE
  • OUR PENCILS HAVE PENCILS
  • THE ROAD, THE HIGHWAY, THE BIG SLAB
  • IF YOU PLAY WITH FIRE … WELL, YOU GOTTA LOVE THAT
  • MEMBER HARRY FERGUSON APPRECIATION SOCIETY
  • WHO’S MY LITTLE NINJA ASSASSIN?
  • THESE ARE ALARMINGLY MOTIVATED AUNTS
  • ALL MOLES WHACKED
  • YOU CAN CHARGE THAT ONE TO THE GAME
  • ANOTHER HARDY BOYS ADVENTURE
  • OH GOD NOT THE LEECHES
  • TAKE A BIG CUT AND FOLLOW THROUGH
  • OUR HAMSTERS HAVE MICROCHIP IMPLANTS
  • LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE PUT ROOFIES IN THE TOFU
  • DICK LUGAR … WASN’T HE IN ROBOCOP?
  • NOW 100% SAFER AGAINST FAKE TERRORIST ATTACK
  • FOURTEEN HAMMERS IS BLISS
  • FIFTEEN HAMMERS IS PROBLEM TERRITORY
  • SOMEBODY FORGOT TO PUT THE CAP BACK ON AGAIN
  • STRAIGHT LINES GO NOWHERE
  • IT’S TIME TO PLACE YOUR HEAD ON YOUR DESK
  • IT WON’T HURT A BIT
  • WATCH OUT FOR THE PEANUT BUTTER
  • ATTRACTS BEES & BUTTERFLIES
  • TRY STRAWBERRY PRESERVES ONCE IN A WHILE
  • THE GAUGES LOOK GOOD
  • ASK YOUR PHARMACIST FOR A B2L2 SHOT
  • DON’T COST NOTHIN’
  • ASK MOM OR DAD FOR DETAILS
  • SWEET POTATO MYSTERY SOLVED
  • PUT THAT IN YOUR PIPE AND SMOKE IT

Sloganza 10 from B2 L2 on Vimeo.

 

  • WE TOOK A COUPLE OF LESSONS
  • TELL ME ABOUT IT, HAIRBALL
  • WHERE WORLDS COLLIDE
  • OUR PRICES ARE INSANE
  • WE ONLY PLAY DEFENSE WHEN WE FEEL LIKE IT
  • LOOK IT UP, MOOKIE
  • IF YOU WANNA MAKE AN OMELETTE, YOU GOTTA WRECK A FEW BUICKS
  • DISCO DOWN AND CHECK OUT THE SHOW
  • ETCH A SKETCH THIS, FOOLS
  • LOVE SOMEBODY
  • WHERE SUCCESS STREET MEETS ACHIEVEMENT AVENUE
  • NOW WITH DUCK LOCATOR
  • SLICKER THAN OTTERS
  • THIS IS MY POKER FACE
  • MILLIONS CHEER SQUIRRELS
  • POWER TO THE SQUIRRELS
  • POWERED BY SQUIRRELS
  • YOUR NON-AGGRESSIVE CARE PROVIDER
  • WE’RE ALL GONNA PIE
  • FORMERLY MODERN BULLFIGHTER
  • WE’LL FIX THAT IN POST
  • FOR HOME AND INDUSTRY
  • WE CALL IT PARTY TYME
  • ASK YOUR PHONE
  • I’LL GET THE MOP
  • I HEAR YOU, MAN
  • WE HAVE COME FOR YOUR TUBAS
  • STRUCTURAL ENGINEERS FOR JESUS, LLC
  • DISSENT ACCELERATOR
  • SMUDGE GENERATOR
  • LIZARD’S DAY OUT
  • CONCERNED ABOUT MISSILES
  • BONONUCLEOSIS
  • FINDING THE LINE BETWEEN SICKNESS AND ILLNESS
  • NOW WITH CLANDESTINE CHICKEN
  • THE HORROR.
  • THE POWER. THE GLORY.
  • THAT’S A HUMAN EAR ALL RIGHT
  • SANSABELT WARRIORS
  • MAKING GIRAFFES EVEN TALLER
  • THE COMPOUND FRACTURE KAW LIJA
  • THAT’S HIGH-WATER KEITEL
  • WHAT’S WRONG WITH BILLY’S EYEBROWS?
  • REVOLUTIONARY AIMS, EVOLUTIONARY GAINS
  • NOW IN BETAMAX
  • DYSTOPIAN FABLES FOR THE SEMI-LITERATE
  • CONTENTS UNDETERRED BY THAT GHASTLY SMELL
  • NOW WITH MAGIC UNDERWEAR
  • LIKE THE NIGHT TRAIN STALLED AT THE CROSSING
  • SO SUE ME ALREADY
  • DESPITE YOUR PLEAS FOR MERCY
  • ACCEPTING NEW PHILOSOPHIES
  • DUSTIN HOFFMAN’S COUSIN LIKES US
  • ATTACK OF THE SHORT DOGS
  • CLEAN SLATES SOILED HERE
  • SPEAR GUN FIGHT IN FIVE MINUTES
  • UNANIMOUS INDIVIDUALITY
  • MANUFACTURED IN ABSENTIA
  • 300+ DAYS OF SUNSHINE
  • THE CLOWNS KNOW ABOUT YOU
  • DOUBLE THE TROUBLE, DOUBLE THE FUN
  • TRAVERSING THE SALT FLATS AT NIGHT
  • TEACHING PATIENCE WHILE LOSING IMPULSE CONTROL
  • KEEP LAUGHING, MONKEY BOY
  • SEQUENCING UNEASY NARRATIVES
  • NUCLEAR FOOTBALL LEAGUE
  • NO ONE REMEMBERS YOUR NAME EITHER
  • HIPSTER FACIAL HAIR OPTIONAL
  • MANUFACTURED IN A FACILITY THAT ALSO PROCESSES HOOEY
  • NOW AVAILABLE IN A THERAPIZATION CREAM
  • THE GOVERNMENT STOLE MY HEART
  • YOUR OWN PERSONAL RAY GUN
  • THE SETTINGS HAVE ALL CHANGED
  • A DOGLIKE ABILITY TO EAT ANYTHING
  • UNANIMOUS PULVERATOR
  • IF PIGS COULD FLY, THAT WOULD BE ORDINARY
  • U.S. ALIEN INVASION: 300+ YEARS UNABATED
  • NO ONE REMEMBERS FAULKNER’S DOG
  • ACCEPTING NEW PATIENTS
  • NOTHING UNUSED ON OUR DESKTOP
  • WHAT’S WRONG WITH GOAT’S BLOOD?
  • ASK ME ABOUT MY CHILEAN REALTOR
  • ALL HAT AND NO CATTLE
  • AN EFFICIENT TOOL WITH MULTIPLE USES
  • TWICE AS HANDSOME
  • HAMBURGER STABILIZATION & RENEWAL
  • PLEASE DETACH AND RETURN WHATEVER YOU GOT
  • TERTIARY CONCERNS ARE BESIDE THE POINT
  • THESE SHOES STILL WALK GOOD
  • DREAMING OF AN ARMY OF APE WARRIORS
  • GOOD LUCK WITH THAT, PEOPLE OF THE FUTURE
  • DON’T FORGET THE CUMIN
  • LIKE A SEAT ON THE LAST CHOPPER OUT
  • SEQUENCING THE SMUDGE GENOME
  • ORBITING THE EARTH AND GATHERING INTELLIGENCE
  • SMUDGE INTEGRITY BUREAU
  • CONTENTS UNDETERRED BY SPECULATIVE MISGIVINGS
  • FASTER
  • THE BEEPS WILL INCREASE IN FREQUENCY DESPITE YOUR PLEAS
  • THIS MONSTER DOES NOT HAVE A BOX
  • CHECK YOUR OIL AND ANTIFREEZE
  • TRYING TO HAVE A TEACHING MOMENT HERE
  • PRESS F8 FOR FOOD
  • WE CAN CONFIRM OR DENY THAT
  • SMUDGE RELOCATION EXPERTS
  • NO POINT MENTIONING THOSE BATS
  • CRY FOR THE UNICORN
  • OPERATING AT MAXIMUM VARMINT CAPACITY
  • HAVE YOU LOOKED UNDER THE COUCH LATELY?
  • DARKNESS FALLS BUT GRAVITY STUMBLES
  • NOT SCARING ANYBODY
  • THROWING CAUTION A BALL TO PLAY WITH
  • NOW WITH ALEC BALDWIN ACTION FIGURE
  • FORMERLY DOGCATCHERS FOR CHRIST LLC
  • THAT NIGHT TRAIN’S A MEAN WINE
  • TRAVERSING SPECTACULAR REALMS AT GO-KART SPEED
  • THINGS IN THE MIDDLE DON’T COME IN PAIRS
  • NOW WITH RADIOACTIVE WOLVES
  • BUILDING A BETTER THING FOR YOUR MACHINE
  • DISSOLVES WHEN PINCHED
  • SOME GUY FLIPPING A COIN IN JAKARTA
  • THEM BEANS IS DONE
  • A MORE ACTIVE STATE OF ALERT
  • NOW WITH INTELLIGENT MONGOOSE
  • WE DON’T WANT NO SHOOTIN’, VIENNA
  • YOU GOT THE WRONG DOCTOR
  • NOW YOU CAN PANIC!
  • NEW TAMPER-PROOF CONTAINER
  • IT’S “MR. LOAF” TO YOU, PAL
  • MESMERIZED BY GIBBERISH
  • NOW WITH WILDCAT OFFENSE
  • TEMPORARY CAN LAST A LONG TIME
  • CHANGE IS LIKE BREAKING A DOLLAR
  • ONE OF RUSSIA’S MOST ELIGIBLE BACHELORS
  • NATION-BUILDING WITH CHEMICALS AND ELECTRICITY
  • ENTROPY REALLY GETS ME DOWN
  • I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW I HAD A WAY OF LIFE
  • THE PRESENT REALLY IS EXTREMELY SHORT
  • IT WAS AN HONEST BEATING MISTAKE
  • NONE OF MY VENN DIAGRAMS OVERLAP
  • I COULD KILL YOU WITH MY MIND, BUT IT WOULD BE TOO DAMN EASY
  • LITTLE REVEALS THE GULLIBILITY OF HUMANS LIKE 99¢
  • ONLINE SINCE WE SOLD THE FURNITURE
  • SOONER OR LATER, THE MUSIC OF YOUR LIFE
  • TAMMY’S IN LOVE
  • NOW WITH ANTIDEPRESSANTS
  • WE CAN’T HAVE PIZZA FOR BREAKFAST EVERY MORNING
  • KIND OF LIKE THE MATRIX, ONLY STINKIER
  • FORTUNE’S NINNY
  • NOW BROADCASTING ON HUMAN AND CANINE FREQUENCIES
  • IT JUST SEEMS LIKE SLOW MOTION
  • I’M NOT SURE I WANT TO MINGLE WITH THIS SPECIES
  • EVERY DAY CAN’T HAVE A SLOGAN
  • HORNY MONGOOSE ATE ME
  • WHAT IS ITCHING? DON’T KNOW DO YOU?
  • GRAVITY WILL WIN
  • NO SLOGAN TODAY
  • IT’S BETTER IN TRIPLICATE
  • THERE’S THE RIGHT AND WHAT’S LEFT
  • PACIFISTS GONE BAD
  • ALL BUILDINGS ARE HISTORIC STRUCTURES
  • DON’T YELL FIRE IN HELL. NOBODY LISTENS.
  • IT’S UPHILL BOTH WAYS FROM HERE
  • DRIVEN BY ENNUI
  • EVERY MUSCLE MUST BE TIGHT
  • “WATCH WHAT YOU SAY” AND “LISTEN TO WHAT YOU SEE”
  • AMAZE THE WELKIN WITH YOUR BROKEN STAVES
  • THAT’S EXACTLY WHY NOT
  • IN THE MARKET FOR A MOUSE, BUD?
  • WE SHOOT DAY FOR NIGHT
  • FOLLOW THE YELLOW LIGHTS TO THE HORIZON
  • NEVER PREPARED, ALWAYS READY
  • PARANOID AND PROUD OF IT
  • SOMEWHERE, SOMEONE IS SEEKING THE LOWEST COMMON DENOMINATOR
  • IT’S NOT MY FAULT
  • PUNK ROCK WHEELIES
  • WHY FOUR FINGERS AND A THUMB?
  • THE THING JUST FELL OFF THE TABLE
  • HOLD ON TIGHT. TIGHTER.
  • RAISE THE CAP ON THE ATTENTION DEFICIT
  • THE FIZZ IN YOUR SODAPOP
  • WHERE IS OUR NEXT COWBOY?
  • ONLY TWO PARTIES AND NEITHER IS ANY FUN
  • PUT THE UKULELE DOWN NOW
  • FLASH WHEN BYPASSING
  • NOW WITH 10% LESS CONFUSION
  • YOUR BALL, HOTSHOT
  • NOW WITH SUPERPOWERS
  • HEY! YOU THERE! SING LOUDER!
  • WILL GLADLY PAY YOUR TUESDAY FOR A HAMBURGER TODAY
  • WHERE EVERY DAY, OPTIONS BLOOM, BEAR FRUIT, SHRIVEL AND DIE
  • ELIMINATING TAXES LEADS TO HUGE SURPLUSES
  • I AM ROCK AND ROLL!
  • NOW WITH 10% MORE SASS
  • SORRY, WE SOLD OUR LAST SLOGAN
  • LIGHTNING CHANGES THINGS
  • IF AT FIRST YOU DON’T SUCCE
  • THE SPARKLE IN YOUR CHINA
  • IT’S NOW TIME TO CHANGE BACK AGAIN
  • NOW WITH UPLIFTING MOTOWN SOUNDTRACK
  • HEY! NEITHER THE RICH, NOR THE POOR, BUY ALL THE CRAP WE MAKE
  • YOUR PAPER RAINCOAT
  • IT’S THE POLITICIANS, STUPID
  • FOLK SINGERS RIOT
  • THIS SLOGAN WILL NOT RUN UNTIL TOMORROW
  • EITHER THIS WALLPAPER GOES OR I DO
  • GENETIC ENGINEERS FINALLY CREATED CHICKENS WITH TEETH
  • PROVEN SUSPENSE GENERATOR
  • ASK YOUR MOM
  • LEAKING VALVES NOTWITHSTANDING
  • UNLOCK AND UNLOAD
  • OY! AGAIN WITH THE VAMPIRES
  • IT’S FREE — GET OVER IT
  • CONSEQUENCES HAVE ACTIONS
  • FREE RANGE FUNK
  • SIDE EFFECTS MAY VARY
  • ANDY WARHOL. WHO IS THAT?
  • WE’LL FIX THAT AFTER THE SURGE
  • BYPASS WHEN FLASHING
  • YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN FUNKY
  • PIMPS DON’T CRY
  • CONSULT MANUAL FOR NON-STANDARD OPERATING PROCEDURES
  • BACK IT UP. BACK IT UP. TO THE LEFT. TO THE LEFT. NOW JUMP
  • SWORN TO FUN, LOYAL TO A SELECT FEW
  • SECURITY THROUGH INSECURITY
  • THE NEIGHBORS IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD ARE DISORGANIZED AND FORGETFUL
  • DON’T LOOK NOW BUT HE’S WATCHING US
  • COMPETENT TO STAND TRIAL
  • BE TEMPORARILY ALARMED
  • MANY OPTIONS ARE ON THE TABLE AND WE’RE NOT GOING TO TELL YOU WHICH ONES
  • IT ISN’T MORE THAN A FEELING
  • WE’LL TRY NOT TO HOLD IT AGAINST YOU
  • LIFE IS JUST A DREAM. WITH NERVE ENDINGS.
  • DON’T EAT THAT STUFF

 

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