Cynthia Daffron

When Christine Tomaszewski, a photographer I met when we worked at the same tech firm, excused herself from a lunch table of coworkers to climb a wobbly bar stool, lean way over the bar, and shoot a photo of the glasses lining the back wall, I knew we would get along. The pursuit of art and pretty shiny things continues to infuse our conversations and so I was more than pleased when she agreed to an email interview.

John Hicks

Bob Johnson and I went down the road to look at the horses. Bob Johnson and I have a lot in common. We both have grooming issues, and our IQs are about the same. I told my dad this, and he thought about it for a minute.

“Well,” he said. “Bob Johnson IS a pretty smart dog.”

G Bitch

Schools have big budgets and get millions of dollars from the federal government and state governments, an amount of money that can tempt the most sincere and well-meaning person. It can seem so easy to cut a teeny corner there and plump this account over here. Or to hand out enormous contracts to 1-month old companies. Just like high-stakes standardized testing linked to punishment [closing a school is a punishment, firing principals is punishment, firing teachers is punishment, tearing down a school is punishment] can lead adults to cheat in any way they think they can get away with.

John Hicks

First of all, an update on the buyout. The buyout failed to materialize this week. However, there is always the chance a major media conglomerate will just swoop down on this thing.

If that happens, you won’t need an update, because you’ll see us riding around in new sports cars. BoJo will have his own iPod. You’ll know when we sell out. We’ll be paying our bills with gold bars. We’ll be tipping with gold bars.