Editor’s Note: This post first appeared November 18, 2010.
Negative connotations of sunglasses after dark:
1) Person is high
2) Person is blind
3) Person is a liar
4) Person is “trying to be cool.”
Albert Frank
13 Articles
Looking through their eyes it was hard for me to walk as I judged my walk as…
She showed up last year with a group of drunken babies, hedonists and troubled look-at-me’s. She was…
Mister Bunny was originally conceived in 2004 from a pillow-case and a few leather-jacket zippers. I guess I’ve been trying to perfect the creepy stuffed animal ever since.
In the summer of 1990 I attended the annual Chicago Comicon. I brought along Xeroxed copies of…
I work for the University of Texas, and it pays the bills. I could use more money but I’m not going to complain, things could be much worse, much more uncertain. I know because I’ve been there. I’ve had many, many jobs in my adult life. I’ve managed to whittle together a pretty seamless resume of 5 jobs, but the truth is much more entertaining. My actual resume would never get me a job, but it’s pretty interesting. Here are my jobs as follows;
My rental car stalls on a country backroad. I turn the key, and it chugs away helplessly. I get out and start walking down the gravel pathway. The sun is shining pleasantly. I soon see a small farmhouse in the distance. The grass along the road is tall, and amber colored, it whips along with the wind. Behind me, I can hear what sounds like rainfall, or popping corn, only faint, as if at a distance. I turn around and see the undulating blackness of a locust swarm. It was coming my way, like a filthy blanket…rolling.
Huge ragged holes open the knees of my jeans, deep crescents of shadow banding my spindly legs. Bulky engineer boots, comical fat-soled knob-toed Frankenstein feet sprouting from calves as thick as my forearms.
Toss on my leather jacket and trench coat on top. Its cold outside. West Texas cold. Fonzerelli scarecrow shivering in the darkness.
Footsteps echoing along the concrete walls of the underground parking lot. Sounds sharpened by the chill.
Hey, look at that ad. Cute girls in my area want to meet 42 year old men! What a coincidence, as I am 42 years old!
Negative connotations of sunglasses after dark:
1) Person is high
2) Person is blind
3) Person is a liar
4) Person is “trying to be cool.”
I was sixteen, and darkness had fallen and we’re riding our bikes. The boys I’m riding with…
(It’s one thing for a knockout brickhouse to make such specific demands for a husband as we…
Note: the acronym (CMA) is a University Of Texas at Austin building name abbreviation for the College…