Associated Press reports that astronaut Scott Kelly, currently orbiting some 236 miles above earth aboard the International Space Station, will be joined early next year by his identical brother Mark, who is also an astronaut.

Open Letter to Charles Frank “Charlie” Bolden, Jr., Chief Administrator, National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA).

Dear Administrator Bolden:

Do not send Mark Kelly into space. Twins are evil, and identical twins are evil times two. Identical twins in space? Evil times the number of all the grains of sand on all the beaches of the world. If Mark and Scott Kelly meet in space, existence will blink into nothingness. It’s preordained. Nostradamus warned: Woe unto the fabric of space/time when indistinguishable siblings forgather in thy vault of heaven.

Sincerely,

Francis Illington

P.S. Need I remind you that the evil-twins-in-space-end-times scenario is addressed in the second of Isaac Asimov’s Three Laws of Robotics?

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