by Angie Sánchez
The reason for writing this was not so that the reader feels pity for me and my situation. I did it so that people will try and understand me and those in my situation. I just want a piece of the pie. My parents brought me to this country so that I would obtain a better future through education and that is what I want for myself. I am not asking for a free ride. All I’m asking for is an opportunity to pursue my dreams and goals. I’m so glad that I have made it as far as I have, but I believe that some of the things I faced I should not have had to face.
I have not been able to return to Mexico since I left 13 years ago. When I left I promised my family that I would return soon, but I have obviously not kept my promise. My grandmother on my Dad’s side passed away from diabetes and I did not get to say good bye or see her one last time. Not only that, but she did not get to meet her new grandson. I felt so heartbroken when she passed away. I also felt frustrated because I knew that I could go if my family and I chose to but if we did we risked losing everything my parents had worked hard for.
I’m fortunate to still have my great-grandmother alive, however I can’t help but wonder how much longer she will stay alive. Since I grew up with her I am very close to her and if she passes away like my grandma did I will be devastated. This is the hardest part about my situation, the fact that I can not return and visit my family members whenever I please. Instead I’m forced to stay here and pray to God for comprehensive immigration reform that will allow me to return to my home country.
The following lyrics are by a famous Mexican group, Los Tigres del Norte. A lot of the lyrics by this group depict real life experiences, mainly those about immigrants, drug-traffickers, and the corruption of the Mexican government. Some of their songs are about love too, of course! The song talks about a man who feels as he was in a cage. The paragraphs that are in bold letters is the part of the song that I relate with in particular. He lives in this great nation (USA) and is making good money but he still feels imprisoned. Thus making the US sort of like a gold cage. He has everything he needs materialistically but emotionally he fells empty. That is exactly how I feel at times. I have economic stability and my family is together, but I still feel like I’m missing something. The something is Mexico. I love this country and I’m incredibly grateful for all that I have, but Mexico will always be in my heart and until I’m able to return and reunite myself with the rest of my family I will not be completely happy.
Cross-posted at My Ongoing Struggle with Misanthropy
Jimmy Gabacho will return next week