Hey, look at that ad. Cute girls in my area want to meet 42 year old men! What a coincidence, as I am 42 years old!

I’m glad there are young women out there that want a 42 year old, just like I am! Let me hurry up and click on it and start talking to all of these young hot girls who want me so desperately!

What the hell, I might as well play along. Right? Let’s see, my zip code is 78741:

Golly willikers, look at all of the pretty young women in my area who all seem to need the assistance of the internet to find 42 year old men! I’ve hit the jackpot! But that registration window is in the way. Well, that’s not gonna stop me. I’ll just register and start talking to those hotties. Okay, name, email, etc etc… Hit “enter” and:

Hmmm, something is different here. Can’t quite put my finger on it.

But wait, I’ve got mail! That was quick. Well, I do have an animal charm. Let’s see what we got:

Looks like some slim pickins here. Well, the one on top looks better than the other two. Let’s take a look:

Well. Not exactly all that great when you take the other pictures away, but still. Let’s see what she has to say:

Man, her picture gets uglier as it gets bigger! I wonder what her life-sized head would look like?

It only seems to be her profile here. No letter. Hmm, wonder why she’d send her profile and no message? And her interests; Kayaking, fishing, sports. It’s like she’s the anti-me. I wonder how much it costs to talk to her:

Wow, 25 bucks a month to talk to someone that I would definitely hate. But hey, I’m sure that there’s got to be someone I could actually be with on such a site that offers such great bait and switch/fake messages type service, right? Right?

So what have we learned?

In the world of online personals:

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