There was always something wrong with my twin brother, some little kernel of not-right. Chess knew it. And he knew that whatever was wrong with him didn’t apply to me. Being a twin is supposed to mean never being alone. We dressed alike, were crammed…
1. a hookah bar is opening in our neighborhood and we young toughs flick our butts at the Coming Soon! front window shout while we smoke in the American way and burn and burn and burn 2. even now I cannot see her smile without…
I may have found my home here in Wisconsin. As I travel I-90 and I-94, cheese and meat shops appear on the horizon every now and again. Everything is called a Haus. Cheese Haus. Sausage Haus. When I see two on the same exit, I…
Once upon a time there was an academic department at a Midwestern University that recruited international graduate students into is master’s degree program. The program was successful and, at the end of the summer of 2011, brought in a promising student to teach and study…
I’m steering the red SUV through endless Ohio towns. Roads are closed in a flurry here right now. The last months of construction have got me detouring through towns I’ve never seen before, and I’m turning around in many nice driveways when I miss those…
It’s 7 pm or so after I check into the Hampton Inn in Battle Creek, Michigan. When I drove in earlier, I was knocked out to see about 30 vintage cars in the parking lot, Fords, Chryslers, all primo condition, detailed, etc. A big sign…
As a child, I was a typical, overfed, pasty and underexercised american with a lower-case a, with little interest in anything beyond the tip of my nose. The Army, with a capital A, remade me using its not-so-subtle methods. Standing in my new attic home,…
Despite the intent to recast the “Last Sitting,” there are some noticeable differences between the two shoots. The original sitting was shot with a soft white background, which created the illusion of sorrowful innocence, an image that also appeared in Monroe’s films. But what did…
Does anyone remember when smoking was still okay? I hate to be such a nut about this, but I have such a nostalgic streak about SOME of the way things used to be. Not the casual racism and misogyny – don’t get sidetracked by what…
There are only a handful of things that I’m looking forward to from this trip. I’d like to see the Grand Canyon from a helicopter. I’d like to throw a silver dollar into the Pacific Ocean. I’m hoping that I’ll find a cool diner somewhere…
It all starts and ends with Jimi. When he began doing those hard crust rolls in 1967, nobody was doing shit like that. – Fletcher Morgan One time he came into my boulangerie in Marseille and you just knew that this cat had a…
It’s Friday the 13th and we’re all gonna die.
In the time-honored, slasher-movie tradition, those of us smoking pot or having sex will die first.
Okay, okay. These two things aren’t really connected, not in this piece, anyway. I just noticed my regular Friday post would be going up on the 13th and I thought I might sucker a few more people into reading it. (By the way, I’m a total wuss when it comes to filmic gore. I actually cover my eyes when the ominous music starts pumping and the knives, guns and chainsaws come out. Also, in terms of superstitious beliefs, the Friday the 13th thing is about as dumb as they come. Boatloads of bad things happen on Friday the 12th and Friday the 14th. You can look it up, Mookie.)
I hate to be the one to break the news that we’re all gonna die, because I’ve worked hard to establish my rep as B2L2’s Pollyanna-in-residence.
Human beings are born in much the same way all warm-blooded mammals are born. If you’re not clear on the concept, ask mom or dad for details.
Terry Gilliam’s 1985 film, entitled Brazil, comes to its conclusion soon as the protagonist Sam Lowry informs his girlfriend, Jill Layton, that he has reported her dead to the authorities. As a result, she no longer has to fear detention. Relieved, she kisses her would-be…