With all the trouble going on these days with housing mortgages, protesters on Wall Street, and fat…

Dear Dog, I’ve omitted your name from this letter to prevent further shame to my family, but…

With the combination of a deep-fried steak, an over-proof mojito, and fart gas that would have knocked…

The worst faux pas a guest in a restaurant can make is offend the staff before dinner…

Our waitress’s name was Debbie, and like her movie counterpart, she had come to the Big D…

Gabacho Does Dallas After another afternoon of shopping, we packed our bags. Our flight back to Chicago…

It was windy when we left the museum at Daley Plaza; we walked several blocks trying to decide what we were going to do. Since that section of Dallas doesn’t have much going for it until after dark, we caught a cab back to the hotel. When we arrived, we found my youngest daughter had been traumatized into semi-catatonia by the noises coming from the suite next door. She was in shock, her face was white, and her hands were cold. We revived her by putting her hands under warm water and promising to take her shopping. Soon after, she explained what had happened. After a terrible, overpriced breakfast at the hotel, she returned to bed with a stomach ache, hoping to get some rest. The young couple with three little children next door had other plans. The little monsters had been wailing like banshees since seven o’clock that morning and they hadn’t even come up for air. They were slamming doors, jumping off the bed, and screaming at each other all morning.

By ten o’clock the grandparents showed up to take the three little bastards out for the day, and try to run some of their energy off. So, for a few brief minutes, things were quiet. Nonetheless, as soon as the kids were out the door, the parents decided it was time for butt-spanking, headboard-banging, and livestock-sounding sex. The cattle sounds echoed down the hall.

My youngest daughter exclaimed, “It was horrible! What do people do that for?”

On the elevator on the way out of the museum a guy who must have been in…

A part of every one of us stopped living when the three shots were fired, and the…

The next day my youngest daughter was feeling under the weather so we left her in the…

Like the rest of what we had seen of Dallas, the mall was something akin to Epcot:…

Back in Dallas, I was into my “all hotels are the same in the dark when you…

As usual, the trains run late in Italy, so we had about an hour and a half…