(To the tune of John Cooper Clarke’s classic, “Evidently Chickentown.”

Warning: Foul Language Ahead.)

.

the fucking courts are fucking keen

to fucking keep it fucking clean?

this fucking mayor’s fucking race

I’ll fucking punch your fucking face

like fucking Grand Prize fucking games

where fucking kids shout fucking names

at fucking Bozo fucking Clown

you’ll know that this is Rahm’s Chi-Town

.

the fucking ruling fucking blows

a fucking moron fucking knows

I’m fucking mean and fucking tough

don’t fucking call my fucking bluff

the fucking voters fucking love

the fucking shit I fucking shove

some fucking judges shot me down

they just don’t get it’s Rahm’s Chi-Town

.

my fucking lawyer’s fucking great

you fucking wait you fucking wait

he’s fucking not fucking around

this town is fucking Rahm’s Chi-Town

.

this fucking makes me fucking smile

not fucking worth my fucking while

the fucking reason fucking why

my fucking rivals fucking cry

the fucking babies fucking schmucks

are fucking sitting fucking ducks

I fucking wear the fucking crown

I am the king of Rahm’s Chi-Town

.

from fucking White House fucking slobs

to fucking Teamsters’ fucking jobs

for fucking wise and fucking guys

with fucking murder in their eyes

a fucking scab is fucking stabbed

for fucking being a fucking scab

your fucking cover’s fucking blown

the fucking neighbors fucking moan

“it’s not your fucking real home”

this is fucking Rahm’s Chi-Town!

.

my fucking lawyer’s fucking great

you fucking wait you fucking wait

he’s fucking not fucking around

this town is fucking Rahm’s Chi-Town

.

the fucking pizza’s fucking thick

the fucking schools are fucking sick

the fucking house is fucking mine

you fucking evil fucking swine

the fucking courts are fucking wrong

you fucking suck my fucking schlong

I’ll fucking take you fucking down

residentially Rahm’s Chi-Town

Stronger Than Dirt Pete Moss is one of the many aliases used by a Tom Long of Chicago, Illinois (not to be confused with other Tom Longs of Chicago or elsewhere). Tom was active in xerox zine culture from the late ’80s through the early ’00s under the Colicky Baby Records and Tapes imprint, and several examples of Tom’s mail art periodicals are filed deeply and safely away at the University of Iowa Libraries Special Collections Department in Iowa City and the Museum of Modern Art Library in New York City. Every so often he posts things at http://colicky.blogspot.com.

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